ARE YOU YOUR OWN PROBLEM?
The NEW YEAR is a perfect time to resolve to make some personal changes.
We say that we want to change certain behaviors or attitudes ̶ but do we really? Although we find inconsistencies in who we want to be, and how we actually behave, how do we begin to become more of our ideal selves?
THE STAGES TO CHANGE INCLUDE: PRE-CONTEMPLATION - this is when we are in denial and don't believe change is needed. ̶ "Hey, I don't have an anger control problem. I just tell people when they 'piss me off'."
CONTEMPLATION - we experience some ambivalence and conflicting emotions, but we are considering change. The first step to any change is awareness that change is needed. ̶ "Wow, my children, my spouse and my boss all say that I'm intense when I get upset and the dog cowers in the corner, but don't I have a right to express myself?"
ACTION- we make a decision and begin to take action to make change. ̶ "Perhaps, I don't need to yell and point my finger to tell people when I'm upset. I want to express myself without being so intense."
MAINTENANCE - we want to avoid relapse and build resilience. ̶ "I'm doing much better with staying calmer when I express anger. Exercise and deep breathing are really helping."
I believe that both nature and nurture are involved here. Nature ̶ our genetic predisposition and what we were born with influences our temperament. Nurture ̶ how we learned to express ourselves during the course of our lives. Our environment also has an impact.
If you really want to change any behavior pattern, YOU CAN DO IT!
Let me know how it works out.